Appreciate what you have while you have it.

My brother and I went home (long distance for each of us) to celebrate my Dad's 80th birthday and parents 55th Anniversary; each happy occasions. 2 days before my Dad's birthday he suddenly passed away.  I am so grateful that I was there, and not on the other side of the country to get a telephone call. We spent two very frantic days putting a service together while attempting to process the enormity and tragedy of what occurred.  Events like this make you realize just how fragile the human condition is.

Look inside yourself and decide what you admire and like.  Work on the things that you perceive to be negative by getting rid of them or to change them. Start with the simple things that you know that you can achieve success with.  Start your day with a positive thought and good intent, i.e.: I intend to be this kind of person, etc.   It doesn't happen overnight but you can do it.. and if you say that you can't then you won't because you've already undermined your success.  Tell yourself that you are no longer that old person as of now.. get rid of the crap that makes you negative... if that is the people around you... well so be it!  Show no mercy -  you are the one that is important and if they don't want to be a long for the journey than they better get off the boat now.

Next -

1)  Be optimistic and smile every day!
2)  Volunteer your time if you can, it will make you feel great!
3)  Meet people who cherish you for who you are!
4)  Whatever a man or woman thinks they are in their heart and head is who they become so make a list of all your positive qualities and focus on them!

I lost my job in the economic upheaval. Over the many months that I have been out of work, I have gone from rarely drinking to drinking every night. A LOT.   Sometimes I drink until I get a buzz.  Other times I drink until I pass out. I started by drinking things I liked but I started gaining weight and so I changed over to things that had less calories.  Now I drink vodka with water or vodka on ice or sometimes vodka straight up.  I justified this to myself by saying it was a sipping drink but sometimes I sipped so much I had 3 or 4 of these in one night.

Nowadays I spend a lot of time alone by choice. After I lost my job I didn't want to burden anyone with my situation so I stayed away.  Stopped returning phone calls, stopped accepting invitations to dinner, stopped dating.  I really started drinking as a way to entertain myself and to help myself get to sleep at night.  I wasn't getting interviews so I had plenty of time. I had parties by myself where I danced and sang and did karaoke, laughed, and toasted myself. I drank until I passed out. I drank out of boredom and because I was afraid I would have think about my situation after I turned out the lights and before I fell asleep.  Then it became kind of a habit.  I did it because it was what I did -- and because it was fun.  Now... I am recognizing that it is not so cool for me anymore.  I want to start dating and socializing again... but I do not want to reintroduce myself as a lush.  But secretly... I don't want to stop.  I know that this is who I am now, it is what I've become.  I've got to dust myself off and get back out there in the classy way I've always presented myself.  But I'm kinda scared.  I don't want what I've done in the darkness of my home to be seen by anyone.

I don't want to be out of control.  I wake up feeling terrible every morning and I can't remember things that I have done more often than I like to admit.  I don't want anyone to know.